I have a love-hate relationship with this pic.
I hate it because it was taken on a day when all hell seemed to have broken loose (+ it looks so cringey to me and does not represent the me that I am now)…
But I love it, simply because it was also the day hell lost its however-long hold on me, and my life was changed (for the better) forever.
You’re looking at a frustrated, sick-of-this-BS-world 20-something-year-old who was dying on the inside.
And it’s so funny… because people (for some strange reason) thought I had it all together and everything was going on for me.
Yes, I didn’t go hungry…
Yes, my parents did their best to take care of me…
Yes, I’m able-bodied.
But I was starving for something better than this…
Dying for an actual relationship with my parents that wasn’t so strained…
And broken, to say the least, on the inside.
There was so much turmoil raging on the inside of me that I couldn’t escape from.
How do you even run from yourself?
I was sick of this world and the hands that I was being dealt.
Everytime I aimed to do and be better… the world would push me back into a corner.
I was misunderstood left, right and centre…
… And that bit did NOT change when I came to Christendom 😂.
Even to this day, I’m misunderstood…
But that’s a great thing, and in time to come, you’ll see why.
I didn’t always believe in God, because the Christians around me just didn’t reflect the existence of a Higher Being – sorry, not sorry ✋🏽.
But my own circumstances would bring me to my knees with nothing left to lose but to try this ‘God’ thing.
The picture at the top of this page followed the aftermath of a crash that I was in the wrong for – the nail in the coffin for how low I had sunken.
“If God existed, why would He allow me to get into this accident?”
That day, I was on my way to school and somewhat late, but little did I know that I was right where God wanted me.
The crash that I was responsible for depicted the culmination of where my life was – a life that had crashed and was spiralling downwards.
Needless to say, I felt dejected and defeated that day, to the point where I tried to continue like nothing happened after all the formalities took place, but my mom urged me to go to church instead of bothering with school.
I resisted at first, but I eventually yielded.
So yes, this is the pic of a bitter and broken girl on her way to a Wednesday afternoon church service.
As the service was coming to a close (thank God, cause I wanted to go home and sulk), the man of God in charge at the very last minute singled me out of the crowd and began describing my own turmoil to me.
“Who is this man…”, I thought, “and how does he know what’s going on in my life to the T?”
He told me everything that I just told you AND more…
And that service… honestly took the last piece of me that I was trying so hard to hold together.
The 20-something-year-old that was sick-of-this-BS-world and would never cry in public… broke down…
And what followed after, was a lightness that I didn’t feel in YEARS.
What followed after that was…
Well, I can’t tell it all in this post, but I’ll tell it over time.
The point that I’m trying to make is that that crash ended up jump-starting me to become who I am today…
… the unstoppable individual that I am TODAY.
I’m not trying to be overly spiritual nor a fanatic right now (and honestly, if you get it, you get it), but I’m glad for that crash (especially given the fact that no one was hurt).
To this day I have NO idea how the incident happened, ESPECIALLY since the front end of my mother’s vehicle was CRUMPLED and the back end of the other vehicle was HARDLY damaged.
If you knew me before now, you’d know I’d NEVER share my personal life publicly.
So what’s changed?
I have.
And God is the one responsible for that… because He had a plan for me.
He has changed me in ways I would’ve never imagined…
And for me to hold back on all that I’ve come to learn and experience on this journey with Him honestly feels like an injustice to those who are in a shoe that was similar to mine.
So allow me to properly introduce myself:
I’m Tiff FR (aka tha latter rain) and the story that I just shared with you is the very bedrock of DTruest (think “the truest“, but Jamaicanized lol)
DTruest is a place for you to discover who you were REALLY meant to be in Christ.
It’s only fair for me to give a warning that this space is not for those who are comfortable and okay with their faith…
If you’re okay with where you are on your faith journey, that’s great.
But if you’re struggling to make sense of your faith in God alongside juggling your doubts about the way He’s represented or worshipped…
Feel like you don’t fit in with any faith-based community…
Looking for a place that doesn’t reek of pretentious performances that are atypical to certain religious settings– a place where faith meets the REAL world…
.. then you’re in the right place.
Now that you know a bit about me & what I’m about, I sincerely hope you’ll stick around.
And before you go… can you help me with one little thing?
I’m trying my best to rally my tribe.
You’d do me a great favour by sharing this post with someone who you think would benefit from a space like this.
Are you gonna do it? 👀
Yes?
Thank you so much for sharing.
I know it can be uncomfortable sometimes to step out of your comfort zone (like I did when I shared this), but I know that this could be the last glimmer of hope that someone needs to see to keep them afloat…
Imagine how much of a blessing you’d be to that person.
So sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for reading and sharing.
I’ll see you in the next one.
Your sister in faith,
Tiff FR.
